A REAL COMMANDER
The difference between getting respect...
and earning it
APOLOGIZING:
Putting self aside
(Keesler
News, Keesler AFB, Biloxi, MS)
By Gene Kamena,
COL, USAF, Ret, Air War College professor
Maxwell Air Force Base,
When the military police
vehicle
pulled
behind
my car with its blue lights flashing, I
knew I had screwed up. I was not wearing a seat belt.
Not a big deal? It is if you are the brigade commander in Germany
. It is if you have a policy requiring
a week's restriction of driving privileges
for 'any traffic
offense. It is if
you are left on the
side of the
road for
forty minutes,
for all to see, while
the specialist from the MP confirms you
are not on the FBI's
most wanted list. That evening, I
called
the commanding general
and
informed him of my transgression.
His only comment was
"make
it right."
The next
morning,
as I entered
the brigade
headquarters and the
charge
of quarters dutifully called the
building to attention; he, also
said with a wry smile: "Sir, I
understand you
had a brush with the law yesterday."
I needed to
do something, and
quickly. Leaders
make mistakes; good leaders acknowledge
their mistakes
and if appropriate, apologize. Apologizing
is never easy, especially
for someone
in a position of authority. Easy or
not, sometimes
it is the right thing to do.
Happenstance had
it that the monthly brigade run was scheduled the next
morning. In
front
of more
than three thousand
soldiers and
leaders, I
told the
story of what happened, admitted
I was wrong, made
no excuses, handed
my license
over to the brigade command sergeant
major and walked for the next week (no one ever offered me a ride).
The
above story
is true. I
relate
this
very embarrassing
incident
with the intent
of passing
on what
I learned about
leaders, mistakes and apologizing: When
leaders
make mistakes, big
or small, people notice. They notice because
they watch
what leaders do. If there
is a disconnect between what a leader says and what a leader
does, people
will remember what a leader does. Mistakes
do not get better with time. My advice is to inform, communicate
and remedy the situation as soon as practical.
·
Tell the truth and set the record straight. I am convinced had I not apologized,
rumors would have it that I
was involved
in a high-speed
chase.
· Mean
what you
say.
People
will know if you are
sincere
or not.
·
There can
be only one standard.
Whatever the rules, policies
or practices, hold
yourself
to the same
standard you do everyone
else.
Apologizing for my misconduct was
not
easy, but
it was the
right
thing to do. A
leader must
keep their
ego in check. Good
leaders hold themselves accountable
for their
mistakes,
and when an apology
is required, leaders put self
aside.